Tuesday, June 8, 2010

PROBLEMS SOLVED!!!


All my problems are solved I just got this e-mail from the Benin republic (remember them?) I have preserved the spelling/punctuation problems because that lends credibility that this is from a real person who cannot be bothered with even putting down my real name-he must be a very busy man this Reverend? But this is so awesome I don't even remember investing money in west Africa.
But hey greed is blind.

ATTENTION BENEFICIARY
First of all,Let me introduce my self to you,My name is Rev Johna Blis,The new elected Manager of Western Union Office Benin Republic.I am writing this mail with deep sorrow,I saw your named on our file last week as the one of the most beneficiary which did not receive their fund valued $1.800.000.00 Usd which supose to be transfering at the rate of $5000.00 per day during the Mr Nick Maxx's regim.

The reason i am emailing you today is to inform you that Mr Nick has been sacked out since last month due to his ilegal work,I am here to inform you that the onlything that will lead you to receive your fund is by trusting me and follow my direction. the money you sent to Mr Nick in order to get your fund which fails. Here i am to tell you that the reason you did not receive your fund is because Mr Nick did not lead you to the direct way to get your fund, There is what called affidavit of claim which you supose to obtain from the high court. but you did not have it and that is only what you needed now from our Investigation Services which noticed that you don't have the required document

Bear it in mind that due to the Mr Nick attitude our federal Government has signed that your fund will not release yet until you get the affidavit of claim, So i want you to know that your fund of $1.800.000.00 Usd is still with us here but it will release immediately to you as soon as you obtain the affidavit of claim. Our lawyer went to the court to find out what it will cost you.and it will cost you the sum of $110 to obtain the affidavit of claim from the high court,I will be awaiting to hear from you If you still want to receive your $1.800.000.00 Usd

I am here giving your guarante and also 100 % Percent assurance that this is the only money you will pay and after you pay it you will start receiving your $5000.00 per day untill full payment of $1.800.000.00 Usd is completed. I will be waiting right now in order to enable us obtain the affidavit of claim from the high court.Please reply back through this mail addres;westerunionoffic@sify.com

Regards, Rev Johna Blis.
The New Manager Of Western union department
Benin Republic;


So now that I have these riches heading my way very soon I can get all the things I have been wanting to do=done.

And don't worry I haven't forgotten who my friends are . . . these guys.

15 comments:

Morgan Ives said...

Dude, you're getting a low offer there. I personally received a letter from the lawyer of a deceased prince offering me $9.5 million. $1.8 mill is chump change. My condolences, though, to Mr. Nick Maxx for getting "sacked out."

David J. West said...

Angela-see thats what makes mine so much more real and believeable-its not an insane amount of money-its reasonable and they want so little to start the process.

All I could think of when I read that about sacking was-"The persons responsible for the sacking have themselves been sacked." Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

T.J. said...

Poor Mr. Nick Maxx. I'm sure that he wanted to get you the money, but the hostile takeover caused him to not be able to send it to you. And how nice to see that you've won the non-existent lottery.

Krista said...

Wow, that was... I'm speechless. I don't even open those, so now I know what I've been missing.
"There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by your bs..."

Kimberly said...

I'm with Krista. The amount of free entertainment I've been passing up. It's shameful really.

Lisa said...

I got one of these a few years ago and sent them a reply that said "nice try" and I haven't heard back. It's really quite sad, they're funny to read.

Does anyone translate the money totals for these people? Don't they realize how absurd the sums are?

David J. West said...

TJ-don't cry for Nick Maxx, he didn't want to send me MY money that I earned.

Krista-so many lost opportunities.

Kim-absolutely shameful.

Lisa-I think if they had a better command of the language it would get more connvincing-but then would you be anymore likely to give money to people on farafwy continents? Countries where these amounts are more than such countries GNP?

A Paladin In Citadel said...

Jonah Blis, sounds like a trustworthy character. With that sort of name, you just know you're in windfall nirvana.

Was the email translated by by Rodriguez and his amazing flying Llamas?

David J. West said...

Paladin-
300 Peruvian Llama's
255-Ecudorian Llama's
187-Argentinian Llama's
99-Brazilian Llama's
and
2 Bolivian Llama's.

Angie said...

That's real convincing. How dumb do they think we are, anyway? I get a kick out of some of my spam too. Thanks.

David J. West said...

Angie-I suppose they are going with the adage of the bigger the lie the more people will believe it.

Kim Coates said...

Wow! My head is still spinning from trying to edit as I read. You are so lucky. I hope my million dollar letter comes soon. Don't spend it all in one place!

David J. West said...

thanks Kim, I'll try to spread it around.

Charles Gramlich said...

Now you will be able to afford those millions to help me get Razored Zen Press started. Whew, now my problem is solved too.

David J. West said...

Too right Charles-I almost mentioned that on your latest post.