Back in summer of 2000, I was security for our local Church's annual Boys Camp. This entailed an awful lot of logistics from SLC, Utah out to the Grand Tetons and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
One of my best friends in the world was heading up the operation and I had a rather relaxed duty. Hunt down any trouble that comes along and take care of it.
I felt uniquely qualified over some of the more respectable Church Elders who came along, because I know what a trouble-making teenage boy is actually going to go do. If boys were missing I knew where to go along the beach to find them (where the girls are). When some boys insanely shredded hot dogs in an effort to "bear-bait" I tracked them down - (they were sent home early)
And I also had my sympathies for the bad boys, I used to be one.
When several were caught and got a royal browbeating from the Elders, I stepped in and whispered for them to look "Sorrier" and say sorry to get it over with. I didn't fault them for looking for a good time, it's what I would have done, it's what I did.
But there is a time and a place for everything.
I was later awarded by the boys, Bachelor of the Year: Boys Camp 2000.
At the time it was bittersweet, I was flattered they thought of me like that, but I was 29, single and thought my prospects were gone (we are stupid in our youth, we are always stupid) - you get like that some times when you realize all your best girlfriends are already married, whores or dead.
But I was married come two years later and that trophy then sat somewhere on the book shelf gathering dust.
Ten years, four months later it is time to take down the trophy and dust it off, because I am forced to start 2013 as single father.
It ain't gonna be easy-but it's what
she chose. Not I.
I'm going to throw everything I've got in 2013 into my kids (who will stay with me) and my writing which I hope will stay with YOU.
I will have my own kingdom and my own queen to sit beside me someday, even if today I am full of gigantic melancholies.