Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Let's See IF I Can't Win It Again

Back in summer of 2000, I was security for our local Church's annual Boys Camp. This entailed an awful lot of logistics from SLC, Utah out to the Grand Tetons and Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

One of my best friends in the world was heading up the operation and I had a rather relaxed duty. Hunt down any trouble that comes along and take care of it.

I felt uniquely qualified over some of the more respectable Church Elders who came along, because I know what a trouble-making teenage boy is actually going to go do. If boys were missing I knew where to go along the beach to find them (where the girls are). When some boys insanely shredded hot dogs in an effort to "bear-bait" I tracked them down - (they were sent home early)

And I also had my sympathies for the bad boys, I used to be one.

When several were caught and got a royal browbeating from the Elders, I stepped in and whispered for them to look "Sorrier" and say sorry to get it over with. I didn't fault them for looking for a good time, it's what I would have done, it's what I did.

But there is a time and a place for everything.

I was later awarded by the boys, Bachelor of the Year: Boys Camp 2000.

At the time it was bittersweet, I was flattered they thought of me like that, but I was 29, single and thought my prospects were gone (we are stupid in our youth, we are always stupid) - you get like that some times when you realize all your best girlfriends are already married, whores or dead.

But I was married come two years later and that trophy then sat somewhere on the book shelf gathering dust.

Ten years, four months later it is time to take down the trophy and dust it off, because I am forced to start 2013 as single father.

It ain't gonna be easy-but it's what she chose. Not I.

I'm going to throw everything I've got in 2013 into my kids (who will stay with me) and my writing which I hope will stay with YOU.

I will have my own kingdom and my own queen to sit beside me someday, even if today I am full of gigantic melancholies.


13 comments:

Angie said...

Oh, David. I'm sorry to hear that. My prayers are with you and your family, my friend.

Angie said...

Oh,yeah. I've been meaning to tell you that I read Fangs of the Dragon the other day. So good! I loved it.

Daron D. Fraley said...

Very sorry, David. Shoot me a note, or call, anytime you want to talk.

David J. West said...

Appreciated both of you.

Keith said...

Man, I hate to hear this. I'm glad you're making amends, but I can't imagine it will be an easy thing to work through. My prayers are with you and your family. Let me know if you need anything.

Charles Gramlich said...

Life seldom allows time to get comfortable. Change is a bulldozer grinding us all under. I'm sorry for the upset in your family. I hope it eases. Best wishes to you all.

Karen Jones Gowen said...

Glad you are working on staying together! Getting counseling I hope, and doing whatever it takes. Best wishes to you and Debi, David. Saving a marriage is a battle worth fighting, and winning.

David J. West said...

Thanks, its always darkest before the dawn, whatever that may be.

Angie said...

I hope this isn't too personal, but I want you to know that I have been through my fair share and then some of marriage difficulties. Next month will be 21 years, and none of it has been easy. But with counseling, therapy, patience, humility, forgiveness, commitment and love we've managed to keep it together. And we're happy. My marriage is better than it's ever been, though we have been through many dark days. Whatever happens for you, I wish you all the best! Don't give up without a fight. Turn to the Savior for help. Okay, I'm done giving advice now.

Nichole Giles said...

So sorry to hear about this David. I think the end of 2012 threw a lot of people for a loop, as turmoil seems to be the order of things right now. Just know that you are not alone, though you may often feel like that is exactly the case. Seems like you have a good plan to focus on your kids and your writing.

We can't control the choices of others, but remember that you'll only be handed trials you have the strength to handle (whether you know where that strength will come from or not). Remember that and know that you CAN do hard things.

Sending you hugs.

David J. West said...

Much appreciated Angie and Nichole, thank you.

Liz Adair said...

David,
I heard about this hard time you're going through, and I wanted to let you know there are lots of people praying for you and your family because your'e our brother Storymaker and you're hurting. I'm one of them.
Claiming the wisdom of my gray hair, I offer this: think of the kids and keep slogging through. You'll do for them what you might not do for yourself. And know that you've got people whispering your name each evening as they petition God for blessings.

David J. West said...

I really appreciate that Liz, thank you very much.